Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
