Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Randomize
