I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
you told grandpa to call you daddy
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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