I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
