I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
