How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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