brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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