I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
