lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
