i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
