I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
