No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
