Tell her she can't have a vagina
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
