You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
