My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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