"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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