My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
This baby is an asshole
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
