Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
