Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
We have started to decorate penises.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
