I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
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