i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
The uberlube is also flammable
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
