Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
