Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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