remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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