if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
