I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
