I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
