you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
