Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize