I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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