I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
