Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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