someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
