did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
