Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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