is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
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