I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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