Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
