I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Randomize
