Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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