I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I supernannyed him into submission
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
