are you so shy because you have an std?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Everyone says I win the strip club
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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