barbara walters just said penis...
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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