Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize