just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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