My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
