OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
What did we do last night that was yellow?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
