perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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