At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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