So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
