I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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