Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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