ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
