I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize