Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize