My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
