I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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