Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Randomize
