We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
