May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
