They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I enjoy the company of your penis
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize