I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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