Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
